


I Want To Be Powerful

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Discrimination, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Friends to Lovers, Gangs, Outsiders-esque AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-17 05:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14181981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Daisy's been trained to lead since she was a child. When her parents are killed and she's put under the care of a trusted adviser of her parents, she's left in a limbo. She's got to learn to manage the many wildcards of her neighborhood gang as well as the Eastside assholes hellbent on making her life as difficult as possible. She's totally got this. Right?ORSort of a modern rewriting of The Outsiders with alterations.Also, it's gay!





	1. SEPTEMBER PART I

**Author's Note:**

> hi the summary is garbage because it was written at 1:37 in the morning and i was tired!!!
> 
>  
> 
> (by the way this is unbeta'd so you'll have to live with my mistakes like I do every day)

_ Yet from those flames, no light, rather darkness visible. _

_ -John Milton, in Paradise Lost _

  
  


_______________

  
  
  
  


It was a sunny day when the first of her many trials began. She saw the light streaming in through the windows into the apartment. She sat still as a blindfold was secured around her eyes, effectively blocking out the light. She heard someone sit down next to her and straightened her back slightly. This was an important stage in her testing. Everyone in the neighborhood had to go through it when they turned six. It was a precaution. They had to know how to protect themselves. They had to be smart.

Her father’s familiar voice sounded from next to her.

“Hold your hand out, palm up, Daisy.” She did as she was told, extending her palm outwards towards her father, “Good.” She felt the cold metal of a bullet being dropped into her hand, “What kind of round is in your hand?” She felt it for a moment before responding,

“.22,” It was quickly removed and replaced by another.

“What kinda round is it now?” She felt the new piece for a few moments,

“.380,” It was removed and another was placed in seconds later,

“What kind of round’s in your hand now?”

“.380 again,” She heard a hum of approval and the round was removed, replaced by another.

“What kinda round in your hand now?”

She paused, feeling around the hard metal, “.48- No, .45,”

“Good,” He took it back and she heard it being placed on the table. Moments later she felt a small handgun being placed in her hands, “Go.”

She reached for the table and pulled a mag up, pushing it into the mag slot and patting it just in case,

“Daisy, If you have a bunch of friends who aren’t doing shit are they an asset of a liability?” She cocked the gun and brought it up in a firing position before replacing it on the table in front of her, picking up a larger handgun.

“Liability,” She grabbed the next mag, shoving it into the slot and continuing the pattern.

“How many people are on the registered sex offender list?” She cocked the gun back with slight difficulty and aimed down the sights once again before placing it on the table next to the other one. She fumbled around the table for the next mag before picking it up and finding the large rifle sitting upside down on the table.

“750,000”

“Daddy taught you that you’re a goddess so you can never be...?” He trailed off waiting for her to finish the sentence.

“Someone’s possession or bitch.” She pushed down on the mag, slotting it into place and picking the rifle up. She pulled the bolt back and aimed down the sights, ignoring burn in her small arms the gun caused.

“Good. Daisy, take your blindfold off.”

She rested part of the gun on her lap and moved to pull the blindfold off her eyes.

“Who’s coming to save you?”

She clenched her jaw, “Nobody, I’ve gotta save myself.”

“And if mommy and I die today then what’s your job?” He asked,

“Pick up where you and mommy left off and take care of the crew because they’re my family.”

Cal paused for a moment before a proud smile overtook his face.

“Good job,” She set the rifle down on the table and he pulled her into a hug.

She grinned and hugged him back.

“I did good?”

“You did perfect princess,”

 

__________

  
  


By the time she was six, she’d become best friends with a boy named Lincoln. By the time she was seven, they were inseparable.

One day, they entered Daisy’s house after school and Cal sat waiting at the table. Lincoln waved,

“Hey Mr. Johnson,” Cal smiled at the boy,

“Hey Lincoln, why don’t you head over to Daisy’s room. I need to talk to her.” Lincoln nodded,

“You got it.” He slipped his shoes off and set his bag down by the door before moving down the hallway. Her father waved her over and she sat down across from him at the table. She took note of the gun and empty mag sitting next to it between them.

“How was school?”

“It was good, I passed my english test.” She said, grinning with pride. He gave her a smile.

“Good. Now, I’m in danger and you have three seconds to save my life.”

Her mind quickly shifted into alert mode and she reached across the table for the mag and gun. She slammed the mag into the pistol, clicking the safety off and aimed over Cal’s shoulder. Quickly, she fired the empty gun.

It clicked softly and Cal chuckled.

“You’re getting better,” She grinned and set the gun down, “But-” He said, his voice becoming slightly more serious, “That was about four and a half seconds. It’s not a lot but it could mean the difference between saving me and avenging me.”

She nodded with all the the seriousness a seven year old could muster before he smiled at her and nodded towards her room.

“Go ahead and play. Your mother’s making burgers for dinner, go ask Lincoln if he wants to stay then let the blocks kids know they’re welcome by if they ask their parents.”

She grinned and skipped off towards her room.

“Got it!”

 

__________

  
  


It was raining on the day of her parent’s funeral. Lincoln stood beside her, his shoulder pressed tight against hers as tears slipped down her face.

Her godfather, a man named Gordon -who she scarcely knew except for the fact that he was her mother’s most trusted advisor- stood slightly behind her with a kind hand on her shoulder.

As the graves were lowered into the ground side by side Daisy’s quiet crying turned quickly into body shaking sobs.

It was raining on the day Daisy’s world crumbled.

 

__________

  
  


She got into her first real fight when she was thirteen.

It was also the first time she was really discriminated against for where she lived.

An Eastsider named Werner and some of his buddies surrounded her on her way back home from school one day.

That was the first time she was thankful for the fact that Gordon acted more like a mentor than a father figure.

Werner went home with a black eye and Daisy went home with a new enemy.

 

__________

  
  


Despite all her parents training when she’d been younger, she’d never fired a gun.

Gordon took her to a gun range when she graduated middle school as a sort of graduation gift.

As she stood down the range and aimed the pistol in her hand, she felt something in her calm.

This control was something she had craved since her parents were taken from her.

The irony wasn’t lost on her that the same kind of weapon she held in her hands was used to kill them.

 

__________

  
  


She'd had a decent amount of self defense education from her parents as well as Gordon but her formal education began at 14.

The woman who taught her’s name was Melinda May. By the time Daisy was 16 she could fight off a man twice her size without breaking a sweat.

 

___________

  
  


Daisy was scrambling around her room to grab her things as Elena’s voice called through her door.

“Daisy if you don’t get up Joey is going to leave without us and if I have to walk to school because of you again I’m going to kick your ass-”

She opened the door, a grin on her face.

“Let’s go then,” She said, slightly breathless.

Elena rolled her eyes and turned, walking down the hall of Gordon’s house and out the door. Daisy waved at her godfather who sat at the kitchen table.

“See you later, Gordon!”

“Text me if you’re going somewhere after school,” He yelled as she left the house. She raised her hand in a thumbs up so he could see and then closed the front door behind her. Elena was walking towards the passenger side door of Joey’s car -an old 2003 honda civic- when Daisy jogged towards her.

“Shotgun!” She called, darting past Elena.

The older girl gave her an unimpressed look but got into the back seat anyways. Daisy flashed a grin and climbed into the front seat. She dropped her backpack by her feet and nodded at Joey. She pulled her seatbelt on as he responded with a gentle “Hey,”

He started driving and stopped at Lincoln’s house. They waited for a minute before Lincoln left the house, his backpack swinging on one shoulder.

“Hey guys,” He said as he pulled his seatbelt on. They all replied with similar greetings before they fell silent. The only sound being the low music from the radio.

It was long before Joey and Elena began conversing quietly in spanish. Daisy let their voices fade into background noise as they drove through the worn down Westside streets.

The conditions of the road and houses better slightly the further away from their houses they drove.

Finally they arrived at the school and Joey stopped near the front door, letting them out so he could go park.

Lincoln walked with her as she made her way to their new homerooms.

“You think we’re gonna be outnumbered again this year?” He asked. Daisy sighed,

“Linc, we’re always outnumbered. There are more Eastsiders at the school.” He shrugged,

“That’s true but come on!” He said, a grin on his face, “Senior year, Daisy! Gotta hope for that fresh start.” She chuckled in response,

“I’m loving the optimism, Lincoln, it’s a great look on you,” She jested, bumping her shoulder into his. He gave her charming grin.

“Everything is a great look on me. I look great.” Daisy snorted at that.

“You had to go and ruin it didn’t you,”

She ignored his fake-wounded look and walked into what was going to be her homeroom for the rest of the year. She paused, taking a moment to take in the faces of those who were already in the room. It wasn’t everyone, probably about half of the total class.

She recognized most of them, Raina sat somewhere in the back, sketching something out. Robbie was off to the side by the windows, looking at something in the distance.

And that was it. Those two, her and Lincoln appeared to be the only Westsiders in the room.

Fuck.

She looked around a bit more and spotted Werner.

Double fuck.

A bit more looking revealed Ward and Sunil sitting somewhat near the front.

There it was, the rare triple fuck.

Lincoln walked in beside her, scanned the room and scowled.

“Yeah,” She muttered, “That’s what I was thinking,”

He shook his head,

“Come on let’s just get some seats. They made their way towards the back of the class and sat down at the back row.

Daisy hooked her bag on her chair and leaned back, resting her feet on the edge of the desk.

She sat like that for a few minutes, scrolling through her phone as the classroom around her slowly filled up.

She felt Lincoln tap her leg,

“Who are those two?” She looked up from her phone in time to see two people enter the class.

Her eyes were drawn to the girl.

Fuck she was pretty.

She quickly averted her gaze when the girl looked in her direction and they made eye contact.

Turning to look at Lincoln she shrugged.

“Dunno,” She looked towards the front again where the duo had taken up residence in the front row, “They must be new.”

He nodded, “Yeah must be,”

She thinks she hears the boy call the other girl, “Simmons” in a heavy british accent but she’d deny if you asked.

She wasn’t paying attention to them.

Not at all.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i try and write these chapters as fast as possible but please keep in mind i have the attention span of a goldfish on crack and be patient with me.
> 
> again, no beta so have fun suffering with me.

_ We are not dirty, he keeps saying, we are not dirty… -Richard Siken Bot _

  
__________  
  


 

It was out of the corner of her eye that she noticed James and a freshman on the far side of the outdoor lunch area. But after she saw them, it was hard to move her eyes away. She tried to pry her eyes away and focus on the story Lincoln was telling the group. Something about the most recent development in the prank war between him and Alisha. She looked back to the two boys across the space and noticed James reach into his pocket. He pulled out a small back and gestured at it then at the freshman. Daisy’s jaw clenched.

“And then she took her bandana off- of course I knew it was her, I’d recognize that hair anywhere-”

“Guys,” She cut Lincoln off, pushing off the table to her feet, “I’ll be right back,” She muttered, ignoring the questioning looks of the others. 

She crossed the quad quickly, coming up behind James. 

The freshman noticed her and his eyes went wide. He quickly took a few steps back.

“What the hell-” James turned around in time for Daisy to clap her hand down hard on his shoulder. When he realized it was her he dropped the hand he was no doubt about to use to shove her off, “Daisy,” He said, exhaling the name, “Of course it’s you.”

She gave him a sarcastic smile, “What, you aren’t more excited? How about you introduce me to your friend here?” The question came out as more of a command.

“This is Donnie,” He gestured at the nervous looking boy across from them, “Donnie want to explain to Daisy what you came to see me for?” He asked, looking a tad nervous himself.

“I- A buddy of mine said I could get Terrigen from him,” He admitted, taking another step backwards, “But you know what, I- uh, I should get going.” He pointed his thumb behind him, in the direction of a group of freshmen. She nodded at him.

“Probably a good idea Donnie.” He nodded and turned away, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste.

She tightened the grip she had on James’ shoulder. He hissed as her nails dug in through his thin t-shirt.

“Ouch- Christ you’ve made your point!” He exclaimed, grabbed her wrist and pulling at the arm.

She didn’t remove her grip, however.

“Have I? Because Gordon made it very clear before the year started that you were not to be dealing terrigen at school. Especially not to fucking freshmen,” She snapped, gesturing in the direction Donnie had left in. 

“I said-” This time he shoved her hand away hard and she let it drop down, “I’ve got it.” He had a foul expression on his face, “It won’t happen again.”

She nodded, “Just keep it out of school James, if you get caught again they’ll expel you.” He sighed, his anger dissipating slightly.

“I know, you’re right. You’re right.” She nodded, patting his arm once before turning around. 

She barely made it a step before she collided with someone. On instinct she reached out, steadying the body that threatened to knock them both down. 

She quickly took in the fact that the person she had stopped from ramming them both over was the new girl she’d seen in her homeroom the past few days. She had yet to have a conversation with her.

“Oh dear- I’m dreadfully sorry I wasn’t paying attention and Fitz told me to meet him but I couldn’t find where he wanted me to meet him. The instructions he was giving me were dreadful and I was staring at my phone,”    
  
Daisy cut her off with a small chuckle, “Hey, you’re fine. No worries.”

The other girl stopped, her mouth open before snapping it shut.

“You’re ah- very solid,”

A small blush rose in her face as she looked down, realizing she still had a hold on the other girl’s hip and wrist. She released her and stepped back.

“Jemma, right?”

A look of confusion passed over the other girl’s face.

“Yes, Jemma Simmons. How did you-”

“We have a few classes together. I’m usually near the back.” Jemma gave her a smile at that.

“Right! Well I will definitely be looking out for you,” She said, a small smile on her face. Daisy laughed softly, looking away for a moment. 

“So, you still lost?” Jemma laughed in embarrassment,

“Terribly so.”

Daisy gave her a smile, “How about you tell me where you’re headed and I can direct you,” She suggested. The other girl gave her a bright nod.

“Right- Fitz wants me to meet him in the auditorium because he’s joined the stage crew. He’s learning where all the lights and speakers are triggered from and I’m rambling again,” She stopped talking and nodded as she said it.

Daisy shrugged with a grin, “Only a bit.” She turned, angeling her body towards the school and pointing to a set of doors, “You wanna head through there. Take the second right and follow it till the end of the hallway.” 

“Thank you so much!” She glanced down at her phone, “Oh dear, I really do need to go,” She started walking backwards, still looking at Daisy, “You never told me your name!” She exclaimed, her voice rising as she got further.

“It’s Daisy,” She called back. Jemma grinned again at that, still walking backwards. Daisy opened her mouth to warn the girl as another student neared bumping into her. She just closed it as the two bumped shoulders, prompting a squeak from the british girl. She huffed a laugh and turned back towards the table where the others sat and made her way back.

As she sat down Elena let out a whistle, “What was that between you and the new girl?” Daisy raised a brow at the girl as she popped a baby carrot from Lincoln’s lunch into her mouth- ignoring his protest.

“What was what?” The other girl shook her head.

“Don’t give me that! She was blushing, you were touching her arm and hip. I know the Daisy charm when I see it.” She said, pointing her fork in Daisy’s direction from across the table.

She snorted, “I don’t have a ‘Daisy charm’, what’re you talking about?” Beside Elena, Lincoln shook his head.

“Nah, you’re full of shit,” He said between bites, “Elena’s right. You do this thing where you smile and duck your head and bite you lip. Poor girl never stood a chance.” He said, shaking his head and faking a somber expression.

Daisy rolled her eyes, “You two are ridiculous. Tell ‘em Joey.” 

He gave her a sympathetic look, “Sorry Daisy, you were totally giving that girl the Daisy charm.”

Daisy placed a hand on her chest, “Et tu, Joey,” She said, pulling a scandalized expression. 

He snorted at her before returning to his food.

“I mean I can’t blame you,” Elena said, shrugging, “She’s definitely hot.”

Lincoln nodded, “Oh yeah, for sure.” The two exchanged a look, “If you weren’t putting the moves on her I might have to.”

Daisy looked down at her own lunch, scowling at the sandwich as if it’d personally offended her.

“Exactly!” Elena exclaimed.

Daisy rolled her eyes again.

“Whatever, she’s cute, I flirted with her. I flirt with cute girls all the time. Nothing’s gonna come of it, she’s an Eastsider from what I’ve heard. Nice or not, no Eastsider wants their kid dating a Westsider. ‘Specially not a Johnson.” She said with a shrug. 

“Give yourself more credit, Daisy, everyone knows dating a gang member means guaranteed protection,” He gested. She chuckled at the comment.

“Alright, alright, enough. Let me eat my lunch in peace.”

“Whatever you say,” Elena said, giving her a smirk.

 

__________

  
  


Daisy fanned herself with the stiff collar of the gym uniform she’d been given earlier that day. Coach Reyes insisted they were new, Daisy was skeptical.

They’d just finished playing dodgeball which was a treat. The coach always let them pick their own teams when they played dodgeball and it tended to devolve into a very violent game of eastside versus westside. Today they were lucky that the only injury today was a boy from her neighborhood named Ethan.

They didn’t play dodgeball very often (for obvious reasons).

They’d lost the match so they stayed behind to clean up the dodgeballs while the others went and got ready to go home. That was one of the only rules everyone at the school could agree on. If you lost in gym, you cleaned up. She leaned over to pick up one of the balls from the floor. When she unbent she noticed Jemma -changed out of her gym uniform already- standing a couple feet away with a ball in her hand, looking flushed.

Daisy raised a brow at her and the other girl let out a flustered noise before smiling and waving at Daisy. Daisy waved back.

“Why’re you helping clean up Jemma? You guys won.” She threw the ball in her hand towards Lincoln who caught it and stuffed it in the sack by his feet.

Jemma looked confused, “Why would we leave you to clean up alone?”

Daisy chuckled, “Sort of unspoken rule, losers clean up,” She said with a shrug. Jemma seemed to be closer to Daisy now, perhaps having made her while closer while she threw the ball to Lincoln. At that, she reached forwards and plucked the ball from the other girl’s hand and tossed it towards Lincoln. 

“You should go ahead,” The other girl looked as if she was going to protest so Daisy bumped her shoulder with the other girl’s, “Seriously, go ahead, we’re almost done here anyways.” She gave the other girl an encouraging smile. 

Before she could reply to Daisy’s words, a voice that loves to tear at Daisy’s ears rang out loud. 

“Jemma! What’re you doing with Mrs. Westside? Come on! We’ve got a movie to catch,” Aida, another senior girl called out. Daisy clenched her jaw at the taunt and looked in their direction. The boy Jemma always seemed to be either with, or talking about -Fitz- was there. As well as Anton and Radcliff. Jemma gave her an apologetic look.

“I guess I’d better go, then,” She murmured. Daisy nodded, not quite taking her eyes off of Aida. The other girl had much of the same mindset, fixing Daisy with a glare.

“I suppose so,” She looked away from Aida towards Jemma, “Have fun,” She said, hoping her smile was at least somewhat convincing.

“Simmons lets go!” Anton’s voice was much louder and grating than Aida’s. Making it all the more annoying. Jemma gave her a final smile before walking towards the group. Daisy exhaled, seeing them say something and hearing Jemma’s laugh. 

It was a pretty laugh. 

She dismissed the thought. 

If Jemma was hanging out with the likes of Aida, there wouldn’t be many more friendly conversations between them in the future. She walked a few steps and picked up another ball. Perhaps whipping it slightly hard at Lincoln. He yelped when it hit his back, having been turned towards Joey who was throwing him a ball. 

He whirled on Daisy, a glare on his face, “Watch it!” 

Daisy shook off the agitation she felt towards the other group and laughed, “Whoops, didn’t realize you weren’t looking,” She said with exaggerated innocence. 

He simply turned around, grumbling as he put the balls away. 

She sighed and looked around the gym. Not spotting any stray balls, she headed off towards the girl’s locker room to change.

 

__________

  
  


The afternoon heat had faded as the sun made its way out of the sky. They drove around in Joey’s car now, no particular destination in mind. Just driving around the more broken down parts of town.

“We could go see a movie,” Elena suggested from the back seat. Joey made a noncommittal noise.

“Nothing good is out,” He replied. Elena huffed.

“Got any better ideas?” No one spoke for a while and Joey continued to cruise along. 

“We could just pick up some snacks and head to my place, watch some old shit?” Daisy suggested, looking into the rear view mirror at Lincoln and Elena. 

“That’ll definitely be cheaper,” Lincoln mused before nodding, “Yeah I’m down.” 

Joey muttered something along the lines of, “finally” and he turned his blinker on, turning down a street towards the nearest corner store. Daisy pulled out as they drove in silence, typing a quick text to Gordon.

**Daisy [6:13]:** the group and i are gonna be home in like thirty mins, they’re probably gonna stay over.

She sent it off as they pulled into the parking lot beside the corner store. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down.

**Gordon [6:14]:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave me a comment if you wanna point something out or call me stupid or give me support, even if i don't reply to the comments I always read/appreciate them.
> 
> twitter @bgltdaisy  
> tumblr @lgbtdvisy

**Author's Note:**

> leave reviews if y'all wanna see this continued it gives me motivation
> 
> hmu at the following  
> twitter: @bgltdaisy  
> tumblr: @lgbtdvisy


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